Cyprus 2000 - Day 1

Emma has offered to write the first day for me. I might as well give up and hand it all over to her. I can't compete with this.

Dad’s Diary

By

Emma (Age 13)

Well woke up, it’s the big day and nothing big has actually happened………yet. Emma’s running around in her towel, Pauline’s also running around but in clothes and I’m, well, I’m standing here trying to remember what I need to do. The taxi’s arrived, I’m surprised to see it’s quite big - six seats and everything being loaded in. The taxi driver is driving a bit too quickly for my liking and what makes it worse is ‘Invicta FM’ is playing in the background. We’re changing lanes rather swiftly and we’ve driven through the freak place “Kings Hill”.

We’ve arrived at the airport and I’m pushing the luggage around, don’t know where I’m going but I’m pushing it anyway. We’ve found where to check in, well actually Pauline has and now we’ve found the flight has been delayed by two whole flippin’ hours. The women will be shopping, God knows what I’ll be doing.

I’m eating Harry Ramsden’s World Famous Fish And Chips although they don’t actually taste that good. Now I’m sitting reading the paper and listening to ‘Indian Clubs’ falling to the ground behind me as the juggler keeps dropping them.

We’re going. There seems to be a swarm of shaven heads and earrings all around me and big men with big tattoos. We’re loading on and I’m trying to be funny with Emma and telling my best jokes but all she can seem to say is, “Oh, that was so funny, you know? I just forgot to laugh.” No one’s in our seats this year – thank God – and everything’s going just peachy.

We’re on the plane. I’m eating, Pauline’s coughing and Emma’s listening to music – I think. We’ve eaten and Emma’s gone to the loo…see I told you things would get more exciting, anyway we’ve landed.

I’ve got one suitcase from the carousel but missed the other one – I don’t think I was really with it, you know. Our rep’s called Victor. Emma and I are discussing whether he’s gay or on drugs. I think gay but Emma doesn’t, oh well can’t agree on everything.

We’ve checked in and I don’t have a bloomin’ clue where we’re going. We’ve ended up at the foot of some stairs and that’s all I can tell you. We’ve finally found our room and I can already see things that aren’t right.

THE END