USA 2001 - Day 11

Today I will be using a pull, push, twist and if it doesn’t work give it a bash tap.

Checked out of the motel and got ready for our big drive east 300 miles across to the Yosemite National Park. We intend to stay at a place called Oakhurst tonight, it’s just a few miles away from Yosemite so we can get a good start tomorrow through the park. Before that however we wanted a closer look at the Golden Gate Bridge before we left San Francisco so I drove in the general direction of the bridge. The bridge loomed up closer and closer when Pauline said, “Be careful, whatever we do we don’t want to drive over the bridge otherwise it will take us north up the coast and we’ll end up going miles out of our way.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” I said as I drove over the bridge.

The bridge span is enormous and it seemed to take forever to drive over it and luckily on the other side was a big parking area set up as a ‘vista point’. We pulled in and enjoyed some really good views of the bridge and of San Francisco itself and we could also turn round and head straight back across the bridge so in the event, driving across the bridge was the best thing we could have done. The place was packed with tourists and there were Mexican wide-boys all over the place trying to flog their souvenirs. They all had their pitch set up, mainly an area of the ground covered with T-shirts and jackets all being sold for about half the price that we’d seen them for sale in San Francisco.

We spent most of the day driving to Oakhurst, fairly boring but the highlight of my drive was seeing a road sign that said “Road Thirty-Six and a Half”.

Oakhurst is like so many American towns we’d passed through, basically an extremely wide and straight road bordered on either side by motels, service stations and eating places. God knows where everyone lives, you never see any houses.

I was surprised to find that most of the towns and cities that we’d seen were all designed on the grid system. To be honest I only thought that New York and possibly a few other major cities were like this but it seemed that practically everywhere had a street layout designed this way. I’d got used to the unimaginative naming conventions, 91^st Street, 42^nd Street etc but we drove through one place where they’d excelled themselves. North to south all the streets were 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th etc while east to west they were A, B, C, D etc. Blimey. You can just imagine the original town planning meetings.

A conference room in a hotel in a town with no names:

Team leader: OK guys. The purpose of this brain storming session is to come up with the names of the streets in our fabulous new town. I’ve got the flip charts, white boards and overhead projector so let’s go. Now at the moment we don’ have any street names at all so if y’all wanna shout out some ideas I’ll write ‘em on this here flip chart. By the way, where’s Billy-Bob?

Calvin: He’s supposed to be here but he ain’t.

Team leader: Thanks Calvin. Now anyone of you guys got some ideas? Nope? Look, all we need are suggestions, don’ matter how stupid they are, we’ll throw ‘em all in the pot an’ see what cooks. How about some ideas for the first street? Anyone? Nolene, how about you?

Nolene: The first street? Mmmm. That’s a tough one. Leave it with me an’ I’ll get back to you on that.

Team leader: Calvin, any ideas for the first street?

Calvin: Now let me see…………nope.

Team leader: OK, we’re starting to bubble here. How about we skip the first street and go to the second street? What about that one?

Just then Billy-Bob comes in.

Billy-Bob: Sorry ah’m late, couldn’t find the damn hotel. We need some street names man, this is ridiculous.

Team leader: OK Billy-Bob, we’re brainstorming a name for the second street in this town. Any ideas?

Billy-Bob: How about 1^st Street?

Team leader: Good, good, keep ‘em coming. 1^st Street. I like what I hear. I like it. I like it a lot.

Nolene: OK, then the first street could be called 2^nd Street couldn’t it?

Team leader: Yep-yep. Yep-yep-yep. Good Nolene, good. I’m seeing a progression here, dare I say a sequence? What about the third street?

Calvin: 3^rd Street.

Team leader: Keep going guys. We’re hot, we’re hot!

Billy-Bob: Then 4^th Street, 5^th Street, 6^th Street –

Team leader: Yes! Oh yes! Oh yes!

Two hours later

Billy-Bob: 102^nd Street, 103^rd Street and the last street could be 104^th Street.

Team leader: OK, now how about the east west streets?

Nolene: Eh?

Team leader: Good Nolene. A Street. I’ll write it down. OK, I don’ wanna put ideas in your heads team but can I jest say B?

Calvin: Where? Cain’t stand ‘em. Nasty little buzzy thangs.

Team leader: Another sequence eh guys? I think you know what I mean.

Nolene: Oh, then C Street, D Street, E Street, F Street followed by G Street, H Street, then –

Team leader: Thank you Nolene. I think we‘ve all got the idea. You don’ have to spell it out.

It was lucky there weren’t more than 26 streets running east to west eh?