Well it’s entertainment night at the hotel and it’s “Cyprus Night”. What a surprise eh? What was it last year? Oh yes, some old poof balancing tea trays wasn’t it? In Cyprus they go one better. It’s an old poof balancing glasses on his head. Not spectacles, not those sort of glasses, come on that would be too easy, we could all do that couldn’t we? Well, after a bit of practice we could – start with a small pair of unbreakable sunglasses and gradually work up to the full size prescription spectacles, no, these are glass tumblers on the top of his head. He had an assistant, don’t they all, and after they’d done a bit of Zorba the Greek dancing I saw him creep into a corner and pour water into this tumbler. Then he placed a thick wad of paper serviettes covering the top of the glass and finally put the glass on his head. Then for no apparent reason he quickly inverted the glass so that the serviettes were now on his head with the upturned glass of water on top of them. The water didn’t seep out. Then his assistant placed a beer mat on top of the glass and placed a second glass on top of that, this time though it was an empty one. The old poof paraded around to the strains of Zorba the Greek with two glasses on his head. All this was repeated until he had a tower of six glasses balanced on his head while he moved around amongst the audience making great theatrical gestures looking smugger and smugger with every glass that was added. God, he was looking so pleased with himself. As he passed me I caught his eye and gestured towards his feet. “Your shoelace is undone,” I said in fluent Greek. Oh calamity! He looked down and crash went his act. Serve you right you arrogant little man I thought.
I know, I know, it didn’t really happen but only because I can’t speak Greek that’s all. During all the glass balancing, Pauline was asked by his assistant to go up and put a glass on his head but she went all silly and giggly saying she couldn’t do it. She’d never done it in public before you see. In private she does it all the time but there’s something not quite right about putting a glass on a strange bloke’s head in public isn’t there? The other highlight of “Cyprus Night” was the two man combo accompanying the “Look at me I can balance six glasses on my head and you can’t” man. They provided the “music to dance the night away.”
I went to bed with Stevie Wonder’s “I Just Called To Say I Love You” ringing in my ears. As sung by the guitarist it went:
I just called to say I love you
I just called to say how much I care
I just called to say I love you
And I mean it from the bottom in my heart
What a song.
What a group.
THE END.
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