Today it’s the new Disney park California. Its theme is the ‘Californian Dream’, sea, sun, surfing plus a smattering of serious projects promoting the Californian way of life, Californian wine er….can’t think of anything else.
On the shuttle Emma had to put up with some American standing on her toe for the whole journey. She didn’t mention it at the time but once we’d got off she said, “He wouldn’t get off and didn’t even apologise afterwards.”
In my usual incisive summing up of a whole nation I said, “They’re all like that out here, rude and inconsiderate.”
At least everything in this park is new and all the rides are ones we’ve never seen before. A couple worth mentioning are:
The Maliboomer which launches you 180 feet straight up in the air in seconds. Going up is terrifying enough but when you hit the top and stop briefly in order to come down again your intestines come out of your nose. Sophia and I went on this twice. The second time so that Emma could video my 3 foot long tongue when I reached the top.
Then there’s the California Screamer. A new roller coaster that starts off from a standing position and screams from 0 to 55 mph in less than five seconds launching you into a series of 360 degree loops, turns that seem impossible to negotiate and at angles that are quite frankly ridiculous. “Are you going to go on that dad?” Emma said. “Well if Sophia wants to go on it then I’ll go on it with her,” I said secretly hoping that Sophia would say no.
Anxious not to appear too wimpish I clambered nervously onto the roller coaster with Sophia. I then spent some minutes fumbling around trying to fasten Sophia’s seat belt around my waist until she pointed out what I was doing. “Just checking to see if it was safe little lady,” I said, “there you are, you can have it back now, seems safe enough to me.”
I spent the next five minutes or so screaming “Jesus Christ”, “Bloody hell, Bloody hell” over and over again but I don’t think Sophia noticed as I had my T-shirt pulled over my head.
Now for something to eat and at the risk of boring you we had the following choices of places to eat:
Cocina Cucamonga Mexican Grill – Authentic Tacos, Nachos and more
Rita’s Baja Blenders – Refreshing Icy Fruit Drinks
Award Wieners – Home of Hollywood’s Biggest Hot-Dogs and Gourmet Sausages
Schmoozes – Fresh Smoothies and Gourmet Coffee
Burger Invasion – An Out-Of-This-World Burger Experience
San Andreas Shakes – Milkshakes With Enough Goodies To Make You Quake
Catch A Flave – Soft-Serve Ice Cream With A Flavour Twist
Corn Dog Castle – Here The Corn Dog Rules
Malibu Ritos – Best Seaside Burritos This Side Of Sausalito
Pizza Oom Mow Mow – Surfboard Shaped Pizzas With Outrageous Toppings
Strips, Dips & Chips – Best Bet For Tasty Snacks On The Go
Bur-r-r Bank Ice Cream – Ice Cream Sundaes and Waffle Cones
Now, as you can see from this list, the eating habits in the US, surprise surprise, strangely seem to account for the number of fat people in the land. All I wanted was a cheese and pickle sandwich but could we get one? We didn’t have any of this in the end. Guess where Emma and Sophia wanted to eat.
Yep, McDonalds.
Checking out tomorrow and making our way back to Los Angeles and Hollywood.
Can’t wait.
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