The continuing diaries of an Englishman abroad visiting such exotic places as Spain, USA, Malta and heaven knows where. Tagging along are his wife Pauline and daughter Emma.

Everything you are about to read is based on true events and real people. It may have been embellished beyond recognition for a cheap laugh but everything happened to a greater or lesser degree. Apart from the bits I made up. OK, and apart from the jokes. And apart from the fantasy sequences. But all the characters are real, believe me.


Exciting isn't it?


Friday, 13 January 2012

USA 1998 - Day 13


Well two weeks have flown by and it's time to check out of the hotel and drive to Tampa to pick up the cruise ship for the rest of the week and the last week of the holiday. As we left the hotel room I managed to leave the only key we still had locked in the room (the spare was still lying around the Magic Kingdom somewhere) so I managed to check out without confessing that I'd lost one of the keys after all. I just said I'd left them in the room and we scarpered.

It was a 55 mile drive to Tampa and was very uneventful apart from seeing a sign to Martin Luther King Junior Boulevarde which was so big I wondered why they didn't abbreviate some of it. Something like Mutherkin Junbev would be much better.

Before boarding the ship everybody including Emma was issued with their own 'Sign and Sail' credit card to be used on board for the duration of the cruise. No money changes hands until the last day of the cruise when you settle the bill. This method of credit obviously suits the organisers who can always rely on people running up bigger bills than perhaps they would otherwise have done if they'd been paying cash. Included in the price of the cruise is all you can eat and drink (non alcoholic). Everything else, booze, presents, gambling, you pay for.

We boarded at 1 p.m and explored the ship. We sail at 6 p.m. The ship picks up passengers in Tampa and New Orleans so while we waited for our luggage to be delivered to our cabin all we could do was to walk around in the 80 degree heat in our travelling clothes envying all the New Orleans passengers sunbathing and swimming.

Actually saw a couple playing Scrabble beside the pool using one of those small word computers, you know the sort of thing, you enter all the letters you have and it presents you with all the anagrams it can find. Somewhat defeats the object of playing the bloody game really doesn't it?

Mind you they were American.

Dinner is at 8.15 p.m. every evening and we are allocated to the late sitting. We share our table with five Americans from Orlando who all know each other. We went to an introductory show afterwards in one of the theatre/club rooms and it was worse than Butlins. Lots of audience participation and bad unfunny jokes. What have we let ourselves in for? We can't get off now, the ships sailing. Had to put the clocks back one hour.

At least they told us.

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