The continuing diaries of an Englishman abroad visiting such exotic places as Spain, USA, Malta and heaven knows where. Tagging along are his wife Pauline and daughter Emma.

Everything you are about to read is based on true events and real people. It may have been embellished beyond recognition for a cheap laugh but everything happened to a greater or lesser degree. Apart from the bits I made up. OK, and apart from the jokes. And apart from the fantasy sequences. But all the characters are real, believe me.


Exciting isn't it?


Sunday, 15 January 2012

Cyprus 2000 - Day 4







The place we’re staying in is called Paphos but it seems there are two spellings of it. Sometimes you see Paphos, sometimes you see Pafos. What’s all that about? All I can think is that it’s a dual language country, Greek and Cockney. I said to one bloke, “Hello old chap, have you been to Paphos before?” He said, “Nah mate. First time in bleedin’ Pafos. Good though innit?” And off he went singing, “Feed the birds-a, tuppence a bag-a.”

Garling bread and strawbezzies on the menu tonight.

And another thing. What’s wrong with these Mediterranean countries? They’re always going on about water shortages yet if you walk into any supermarket you’ll see bottles of water stacked from floor to ceiling. Water shortage? What water shortage? I think not Cypriot liars. Think again.

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