The continuing diaries of an Englishman abroad visiting such exotic places as Spain, USA, Malta and heaven knows where. Tagging along are his wife Pauline and daughter Emma.

Everything you are about to read is based on true events and real people. It may have been embellished beyond recognition for a cheap laugh but everything happened to a greater or lesser degree. Apart from the bits I made up. OK, and apart from the jokes. And apart from the fantasy sequences. But all the characters are real, believe me.


Exciting isn't it?


Sunday, 15 January 2012

Spain 1999 - Day 11


The pre-dinner ritual in our room between Pauline and Emma has just started.

Emma: Mum, does this necklace look OK?

Pauline: Yes, does my hair look straight at the back?

Emma: Yes, what earrings go with it?

Pauline: Put some on and let’s see. Does this dress make me look old?

Emma: No, shall I wear these shoes with this?

Pauline: Why not? Is my hair still straight?

Me: Does this hanky make my bum look big?

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